The Enshittification Of Air Travel — Part 1

This year marks 25 years since I’ve been a semi-regular flyer, of course with a hiatus during the pandemic years. And while Covid has strained many aspects of modern life, air travel was arguably becoming more shit even back in 2019.

As I live near London Gatwick Airport, now dominated by easyJet, this earline features heavily. I don’t have a particular dislike of the carrier, but they exemplify the current sorry state of affairs as well as any.

So here’s why I think flying is getting more and more 💩. Did I miss any?

Being cattle

“Cattle class” is not a new term, and being herded through zig-zag queue lanes has always been a feature of the airport experience.

What’s changed lately is the boarding trick: in an effort to turn around even faster (and maximise profits), airlines close the gates ever more promptly and herd us onto the air bridge. These structures are designed for walking through, they don’t have seats and temperatures vary wildly, yet passengers can easily be left standing here for 15 minutes or longer, with bags and kids to take care of.

The duty-free march

Clear security (which admittedly may actually improve with the new scanners), and you’d hope to enter a departures hall with all its options of toilets, cafes and essential shops. Not a chance! First you must march through a long, winding Ikea-style isle filled with goods that you absolutely do not need.

Brexit

Brexit enshittifies everything about being British and air travel is no exception. Admittedly we were already outside Schengen, but having to go through the non-EU passport lanes and get our passports stamped does not in any way enhance the experience. Connecting from the UK to a destination in Schengen only exacerbates matters: stand in a queue for half an hour, then a mad dash to the gate with no chance of a coffee.

The seating scam

If air travel needs to become more expensive that’s no bad thing for the environment. Few people need to fly. Unfortunately honest pricing has gone out of the window and governments don’t like to interfere with the public’s gullibility.

Take our recent flight to Amsterdam for example. Booking a seat for an under two is already a huge palaver (more on that later), but having to pay for a child to sit with their parents is just ridiculous.

The law isn’t on our side even here: apparently the CAA in its infinite wisdom believes that a child under two can be seated away from both parents. So that’s another £36 on the fare to avoid what customer services told me repeatedly is a 50/50 chance of being split up. Thanks for nothing, easyJet.

The luggage merry-go-round

Where exactly are we supposed to put the luggage? The Ryanairification of air travel (a synonym with the blog title) dictates that hold luggage must be paid for. I’m not sure if it’s about avoiding baggage handling costs or speeding turnaround times, but the result is the same: people carry more onto the plane. Guess what that leads to? That’s right, longer turnaround times. And a generally squashy experience for all. The solution? Charge for hold luggage too! And not just a little, some bags pay more than passengers…

Back in the day, full service airlines had some nasty pricing tricks of their own. Fly for a longer period and the return fare will be higher. The then budget airlines had a simpler model of charging for each leg of the flight based on supply and demand. Well, it’s a case of four legs good, two legs better as the no-longer budget airlines charge for longer trips by the back door. Unless you can cram a week’s luggage under the seat in front and chop your feet off to make room that is.

Which brings us (in)conveniently onto…

Legroom

Being 193cm tall I’ve had some interesting discussions with flight attendants lately about where exactly I’m supposed to put my legs. It’s generally not good to argue with these people, but the laws of physics are on my side: two objects cannot occupy the same space.

It used to be that turning up to check in early and asking for a seat in the exit row would do the trick. Of course, nobody checks in personally now, although the queue for bag drop is just as real. Instead, exit row seats are the most expensive of all, potentially adding hundreds to the cost of some flights. Emirates, relatively unenshittified otherwise, is guilty here — connecting flights with legroom are just not economical.

Meanwhile, seats are getting ever closer together with each new aircraft configuration.

Lack of seat back pockets

I very rarely fly Ryanair, but at least they’re at the lower end of the price spectrum (albeit definitely not low cost). Last year I discovered they’ve stripped away all pockets from the seat backs, presumably for a faster turnaround and to cram the rows together even more tightly. Perhaps there’s a market for a portable seat back bag to hook over the top?

If you want to know how shit your preferred airline is going to be in five years’ time, book yourself a Ryanair flight. Otherwise, best to avoid.

There is no such thing as a budget airline

It used to be possible to have a reasonable experience on a short flight costing under £100 each way per person. No doubt bad for the environment, but you could call it budget air travel. No more. Easyjet have a few flights at horrible times for under £50, but that’s with virtually no luggage. Prices can easily go over £100 and even to £200 per person each way to destinations in Mainland Spain, especially in the school holidays, and that’s still with absolutely no space in the hold or overhead lockers.

Full service airlines are a dying breed

It seems passengers have voted for enshittification en masse, so in order to survive the “traditional” carriers have adopted the same tactics. Examples include less or no food—not a big loss but still, along with restrictions on luggage and a smaller seat pitch. Finnair was a shocker for cabin space: no amount of blueberry juice can make up for becoming an airborne bonsai kitten.

This is where regulations would come in handy. Advertising works, so when one airline says £79 and another says £99, which will garner the most interest? It doesn’t matter that the £99 flight could even work out cheaper depending on which “extras” you book. (It pains me to describe carrying luggage while travelling as an “extra”. What next, restaurants charging for the use of coat hangers?)

Also, the number of airlines that don’t charge for sitting together is dwindling every year.

Trolleys that require coins

This was a particularly nasty surprise upon returning to Gatwick. You cannot get a trolley without inserting a coin. Who carries coins anymore?

I seriously doubt that lost trollies are a problem. It’s just another way to maximise profits: fewer trollies used equates to a smaller number of people paid to round them up.

Drop-off charges

Airport operators are hardly the first group that comes to mind when it comes to protecting the environment, so while we usually get the train to Gatwick I don’t accept any altruistic motive for charging £6 to drop passengers off by car.

It’s not even the cost that’s an issue, it’s a hassle paying. Just charge what’s necessary per passenger for using the airport, and stop all these silly add-ons.

Flying with infants

The family security lane and priority boarding undoubtedly help mitigate some of the stress of flying with a baby or young toddler and all the paraphernalia they come with.

The luggage tax bites us hard though: while easyJet will allow you to gate check a buggy for free, you should only fly to small airports as you won’t see it again until you reach the carousel. That could be quite a trek with a little one. Or, you could pay £60 extra for a short return flight to Amsterdam, just for the privilege of taking a fold-up, carry-on sized buggy into the aircraft. (But see Brexit above: with a long wait in passport control, many parents will pay £30 each way to use their own buggy.)

But by far the worst thing about flying with an under two is airlines’ complete disregard for their safety. Even after paying full price for a seat (a farcical process that ends up with easyJet booking the child as an “object”), our daughter was forced to fly in the most unsafe position on the aircraft. It’s so shocking that part 2 of this blog will be dedicated to the topic.

So why do we do this to ourselves? Airlines wouldn’t sell a shit product if people didn’t buy it. Perhaps we focus on the destination and see the enshittified flying experience as only temporary. But many also see the journey as part of the trip. We deserve better.

Regulators should help by enforcing honest pricing and child safety, but ultimately I think we should reset our expectations about how much flying is good for us, and the planet. Even one less trip every couple of years will help, and we should seek out any remaining good airlines. The extra cost might be modest, or we could even make a small saving.

• See also: The Enshittification Of Air Travel — Part 2, which focuses on child safety.